


I Choose Defeat

by Megantasy



Category: Shingeki no Kyojin | Attack on Titan
Genre: F/M
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2020-04-15
Updated: 2020-08-19
Packaged: 2021-03-02 00:34:34
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Graphic Depictions Of Violence
Chapters: 7
Words: 20,368
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/23666209
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Megantasy/pseuds/Megantasy
Summary: Ice is strong, but hold it to a flame and it becomes nothing but water. The walls were shattering like glass around us, around me. I did this. I could barely see them through the clouds of dust but then I met his eyes. Eyes that held mine with such horror and such sorrow. He had to kill me......Rose is a survivor of Shinganshina and is forced to live a life of crime to help herself and her friends Eren, Mikasa and Armin survive. That is until one job in the underground leads her to being caught by the Scouts......It's a Levi/OC fanfic ~ thought I'd try this idea out before the rest of my time is taken up writing Ereri(The title will probably change)
Relationships: Armin Arlert/Jean Kirstein, Levi (Shingeki no Kyojin)/Original Female Character(s), Mikasa Ackerman/Eren Yeager
Comments: 6
Kudos: 17





	1. Chapter 1

Ice is strong, but hold it to a flame and it becomes nothing but water. The walls were shattering like glass around us, around me. I did this. I could barely see them through the clouds of dust but then I met his eyes. Eyes that held mine with such horror and such sorrow. He had to kill me.

……….

They say good things will come to those who wait, but I’ve been waiting for so long. Two years ago when Wall Maria fell, I, as well as everyone else, lost everything. But unlike most people, I didn’t have much to lose. Watching my house be demolished by titans didn’t hurt me as much as I had expected, all that was in there were memories. Still, it was as though I had been forced to turn my back on the past that I was still desperately holding onto. As I turned my back to the wreckage, every step I took was another memory I chose to forget. 

Then it was just running. I ran as fast as I could through town to the gate, taking shortcuts to avoid as many titans as possible. Any that did notice me were soon distracted by people who were louder – they seemed to prefer screamers. It took me a bit longer than usual to reach the gate where the boats were being boarded. I had to slide my way through a hundred bustling bodies to get to the front.

“How old are you?” the guard allowing people on the boat asked, his eyes barely looking at me as they darted in the direction of the titans.

“It doesn’t matter how old she is, just let her on, she’s only a kid now move,” another guard shouted next to us. 

Without another word, the guard moved a side and I moved past just in time as another wave of people surged forwards. My feet had only just touched the boat when the bridge behind me started to rise.

“W-wha-People still need evacuating!”

“There’s still room! Move and let me on!”

Voices from the crowd suddenly became hysterical as the realization that they were being left behind started to sink in. 

People were throwing themselves at the boat. Some made it on. Others didn’t. No one helped them. The boat’s occupants almost seemed like ghosts themselves. Pale and stricken. No one spoke apart from the utterance of prayers under their breath. That was until one boy, probably around ten years old, stood up and clenched his fists around the edge of the boat, glaring at the destruction with such rage.

“I’m gonna put a stop to this. I’ll kill them all. Every last one.”

……….

Getting off the boat in the safe territory was much slower than getting on. People were scared and hesitant to believe they were safe. Things became worse when they realized the rations were incredibly limited.

“Is this it? I watch my family get ripped a part and this is all you give me?”

“Look around, everyone experienced the same thing as you. You’re lucky you weren’t eaten too,” said a guard nonchalantly, shoving a small loaf of bread into the man’s hands. The man scoffed but didn’t reply. He probably didn’t have the energy to argue.

I was launched forwards as someone crashed into me from behind. I barely had time to register it as the boy from the boat when his argument continued.

“You’re just a coward!” he shouted at the man that sneered down at him. 

“Yeah? And you should have been eaten – it’d give us one less mouth to feed,” the man replied. I looked him more closely and noticed to patch on his jacket. Military Police. Well that explained a lot. 

“How dare you,” I spat back before my brain had even registered I had opened my mouth.

“Oh, what do we have here? Is this your sister?” he replied, looking me up and down. Disgusting. Yet another piece of filth that the Military Police decided to claim as their own. 

“How dare you act like you’re any better than us. You’d probably piss your pants if you ever saw a real titan,” my voice lowered. “Then you’d be torn a part like you were nothing but a rag doll. I doubt the Military Police would even consider helping you, after all, you’d just be one less mouth to feed.”

“Bitch,” the man said before raising his hand to slap me. I stepped back so I was out of his reach, watching his hand swing stupidly in front of my face as it missed its target. 

“Only a coward resorts to violence. Why don’t you try and put us down more? Then I can show even more people what a fool you are,” I said, glancing to my left at a woman who had covered her mouth to hide a small giggle. 

The man grumbled but turned to leave. “At least I’m not weak like you kids. I probably could have saved my family, the same can’t be said for you.”

The boy beside me shot forward to punch the man but hit the ground just as quickly. The man shook his fist and laughed. His laugh ended in seconds after I stepped forward and punched him in the mouth. It wasn’t as hard as I wanted it to be, but it certainly got my point across. 

“Why you little-“

“They’re sorry, sir! We’re all just tired after everything that has happened today, they won’t bother you again,” a little blond boy started, standing between us and the Military Police. Beside him, a girl with black hair around the same age as the boys stood watching the scene.

The man looked like he was about to punch the boy too until another man walked over to him and gestured that it was time to leave. He had the same jacket with the Military Police logo on. 

“Stupid kids,” he muttered as he left with the other man.

I glared after him before I turned to see the blond boy help the boy from the boat up. 

“I’m fine, Armin,” the brunette said, slapping Armin’s hand away. Once he was back on his feet, the boy from the boat stared up at me.

“Good punch,” he said smiling, “and thanks for… y’know.” He looked over to where the man had been standing.

“It’s cool, I’ve always wanted to punch someone from the Military police,” I shrugged.

He laughed and held out his hand. 

“Eren Jaeger.”

I clasped his hand with my own and shook it.

“Rose Marsh.”


	2. Chapter 2

It’s been two years since the fall of Wall Maria. Shinganshina, my home, became titan territory. Since then, it’s just been me. Or at least that’s how I thought it would be as I watched my life crumble along with the wall. However, after its fall, Shinganshina led me to Eren Jaeger who, like me, lost everything. Eren shares the same dream as me; freedom. A life without titans. A life outside the walls. I was fifteen when I met Eren, Mikasa and Armin, a teenager with a life going nowhere. With destruction comes purpose and I found mine. I will destroy the titans. Every last one.

I did everything I could to make sure we had food on the table – that included things I’m not proud of. There aren’t many jobs for teenagers, so money had to be made through less than genuine methods. Still, it kept us alive. After Armin lost his grandfather due to a supposed government operation that failed, I had to do what was necessary. That included getting involved with some rather dangerous characters. 

My latest task is to venture into the underground and hunt down a man who stole stock from one of my clients. Apparently they had been involved in some sort of drug ring which led them to having several dealers with which they would send some stock to to sell. The underground had a large market for drugs. Not that it had much else. My client runs the largest drug ring in the inner city but made most of their money from street dealers in the underground. This guy ran off with the money and the stock which is a big problem. That’s where I come in.

I adjust the 3dmg gear around my waist as the carriage comes to a stop. I reach for the black cloak on my seat and wrap it around me, pulling the hood up to cover my face.

“Don’t let us down, Rose,” a voice cut through the silence of the carriage. 

I nod, but don’t look in his direction. With a deep breath, I open the door and begin my descent down the steps into the underground. The guards pretend not the see me as I pass them their usual bribe. It’s not like this is the first time I’ve been down here. 

My eyes squint to adjust to the dim artificial lights used to illuminate the vast city. It looks like an entirely different world to the city above. I hurry down the stairs and venture into the streets to begin my search. With my hood up, I look no different from any other dealer which means I should blend in with ease. I can’t stand how quiet it is down here. The streets are mostly desolate besides the several beggars, but even they know not to bother people. Most of them have just given up. I don’t blame them. Life in the underground is hard enough as it is without money, even then that’s not enough to get you to the upper city. If you’re born here, you’ll most likely die here. That’s just the way it is.

My client told me that I’ll find the target in the back alleyways at the edge of the city. That’s where most of the deals take place. I continue on through the streets, sticking to the shadows as much as possible so as not to draw attention to myself. The people down here don’t take kindly to those from the inner walls. I found that out on my first trip down here.

“Upper city scum,” spouted a bar owner as he spat at me. He went to draw a gun only to be met with one himself. My mentor was faster.

“Drop it,” he said, forcing the bar owner to leave the gun on the table and back away. “Now give us the money.”

I had to forfeit half my week’s pay as penance for making such a mistake. Public scenes like that cost my clients customers. It’s bad for their reputation. Since then, I aim to be a bit more subtle when dealing with targets. That doesn’t always work out, but at least I’d feel better forfeiting dinner that night with the knowledge that I tried. That and the experience usually gives me far more of a rush.

The edge of the city was definitely the most interesting. Any authority figures that visit the underground don’t typically come this far in. Whereas the center of town portrays the decrepit nature of this place, the edge shows that it still has fire. All sorts of drugs, prostitutes and alcohol can be traded here. Dealers from the walls send men down here to trade their goods for them due to the lack of government presence. Although, just because there aren’t any laws down here doesn’t mean that there aren’t rules. Stealing from a dealer for example, is against the rules. If you break the rules, you might get beaten up, or have stock and money taken from you. And if you happen to piss off one of the larger dealers, then you have to deal with me.

I cut down the first of the back alleys, avoiding eye contact with any of the men I pass. I turn a corner once I spot trouble happening further on, a guy was being curb stomped – nice. I wonder what he’d done. It would be a very bad idea to stop and ask though so it’s best to avoid such confrontations and ignore my aching curiosity. Turning the corner was the right move as I spot a guy that matches my target’s description. He’s wearing a black cape similar to mine but has his hood down. Tall, lean, brunette, not a particularly handsome guy but strong. Looks like fun. I approach him carefully, not letting the hood of my cape expose my face.

“Hey there, interested in a good time? I just got some good stuff in, real clean,” he says in a casual tone. How naïve. 

“Yeah?” I reply in a similar tone to his. “Where did you get it from?”

“Oh just off these old guys I used to work for. One of the easiest jobs I’ve had in a while,” he boasts. Bingo.

“Wow, how daring of you,” I respond, feeding his ego. “I’m surprised they didn’t cause you any trouble if it’s as good as you say.”

“Yeah well I’m really careful with this stuff, I’m always one step ahead,” he laughs, turning to me fully.

“Impressive,” I say, subtly moving my hand to my belt. 

He stares at me for a second, as if he can see my hand move beneath my cape.

“I’m glad you think so,” he responds as my hand encloses the knife in my waist band. “Rose Marsh.”

Shit.

I withdraw the knife and instinctively jump back. My other hand comes up and undoes the clasp of my cloak, throwing the material to the floor. Bring it on.

He smirks at me and removes his cape as well to reveal his own 3dmg gear. Double shit. Well this is surprising. 

Still, I can handle this. He squares up to me and clenches his fists. Huh, feels a bit unfair when I have a knife on me. That’s when I hear it. The crunch of the wall beside me followed by the familiar sound of 3dmg gear. This is a set up. 

I run at the man before me, kicking him in the gut before standing on his back to get some height before using my 3dmg gear. I grapple onto the roof of the nearest building in the main street outside of the alleyways, my mind reeling with thoughts as I try to process what the fuck is going on. Has he got his own gang? I land onto the concrete roof and spin around to face to see who was following me. There are so many. Not just in the alleyway, but on top of every building surrounding the alleyway. 

The Military Police.

Time seems to stop as my feet move before I can even register what is happening. Returning my knife to my belt, I jump off the roof and swing myself around the corner to head back into the main city. If they think they can catch me then they better be ready for a fight. I don’t need to look behind me to know they’re following me as gunshots fly past me. Well, their terrible aim certainly hasn’t changed. 

I dive through a window in an empty-looking house to my left. I slam my back against the wall and turn to the window to see if they’ll go past me. Several bodies fly past the window so I sit back and check my 3dmg gear to see how much gas I have left. Ample to get past the guys and back to the stairs as long as I-

Click.

I freeze and slowly look up to meet the eyes of a man who grins back at me. He adjusts his aim of the gun in his hand. I throw myself to the door and cry out as he fires, the bullet slicing into the surface of my arm. Fuck.

Clutching my arm to stop the bleeding, I realise the wound is too deep for just my hand to do much. I have to get out of here. I have to stay alive for Eren, Mikasa and Armin’s sake.

I grapple into the street again and swing myself upwards so I can get a better view. Big mistake. I’m surrounded. Several shots are fired towards me as I rapidly reel backwards to get some distance. I turn and head towards some of the larger buildings. I tuck into a ball and break through one of the windows, immediately getting up and running through the doorway until I get to the other side of the building. Without stopping, I jump through the window and swing low to avoid them seeing me. There’s no sound of gun fire so I hope desperately that that means I’ve got some time to escape while they try to find me. The edges of the city may be safer than going to the center. I land softly and stick to the shadows, running as fast as I can past the buildings. I may have ample gas to get out but I don’t have enough for combat. As I run, I tear off the bottom half of my shirt and haphazardly wrap it around my increasingly numb arm. The wound screams at me as I tighten the knot of the bandage but I can’t worry about that now. 

I skid to a stop at the edge of the building and listen. Nothing. That’s not good. I can’t have lost them so soon, this was too easy. I turn around and run in the opposite direction. Guess I’ll have to go the long way around. 

Once I clear a few more buildings, I risk my 3dmg gear to speed up my escape. Bad idea as I hear shouts of alarm. Still, I have a head start on them now. I swing myself into the air and allow myself to do a flip as I transition into the next swing. Don’t let them say I escaped without style. I know not to waste too much time, so I use more gas and boot myself upwards, clearing several houses at a time. It won’t take me too long to get to the stairs from here as long as I stay ahead of the MP. 

I swing lower to get a better aim through the streets only to find myself being thrown into the ground below me, my body rolling across the floor before slamming into a wall. Pain wracks through my body as the blood from my arm starts to seep through its bandage. I look up to see what hit me. Green is all I see before I’m lifted off the ground by the neck of my shirt and thrown into the street. I cough and try to get up only to be pinned back down. I turn my head to the side and see several pairs of feet approaching me. Great. 

The pressure on my back is lifted only for my arms to be grabbed and lifted to force me into a kneeling position.

I raise my eyes only to meet some pale blue ones. They seem cold and uninterested yet as they studied my own I could see something in them. Curiosity.

“Not bad,” he muttered under his breath which seemed almost as unsteady as my own.

“Stand down, Levi,” another voice chimed in. “Let me speak with her.”

“Her? I have a name you know,” I spit back. The grip on my arms gets tighter, whoever is holding me digs their thumb into the wound on my bicep. I wince but keep my composure.

“Oh I know, Miss Marsh. You have quite the reputation,” the man replied, stepping forward. He had bright blond hair and large eyebrows – very large eyebrows. Interesting look but it suits him.

I scoff and roll my eyes. “Whatever, look are you gonna kill me or what?” I ask in a bored tone.

“Kill you? No one here’s going to kill y-“

And as if by comedic chance, that’s when my favourite member of the MP rocks up. I still don’t know his name but oh boy, he’s a charmer. As soon as he gets within a close distance of me, he pulls out his gun and aims it at my head. I smirk at him.

“And here I thought you’d be excited to see me on my knees,” I say, my voice dripping with sarcasm. I even flutter my eyelashes at him for good measure.

“You filthy bitch,” he replies and places his finger on the trigger.

My eyes flicker from the gun to Levi on my right who still hasn’t stopped staring at me. Interesting.

“Now now, she’s unarmed, you can’t shoot at an unarmed lady,” Eyebrows says to him, amusement clear on his face.

“She’s not unarmed, she’s-“ he starts.

“Her name is Rose Marsh,” Eyebrows continues, glancing back at me quickly. “And Miss Marsh is now under the duress of the Scout Regiment seeing as the Military Police failed to apprehend her.”

The MP stuttered but still kept his gun aimed at me. “But she-“

“Coward,” I taunt. “Grow some balls and shoot me.”

Perfect. 

He took the bait and fired at me. 

Just as I predicted, he’s still a terrible aim. I move my head to the side to allow the bullet to have ample room to travel past me and straight into the gut of the person restraining me from behind, causing them to let go of me and bend forwards clutching their stomach. Serves them right for hurting my arm. Instantly, I slam my head backwards and collide with their head, knocking them to the ground. Taking my chance, I leap up and grapple to the building behind me using as much gas as possible to increase my speed. It’s now or never. 

The adrenaline pumping through my body makes me feel weightless as I fly across the rooftops. It’s not long before I can see the stairs. I take a second to look behind me to see if I’m being followed. Wrong move. A flash of green is all it takes as Levi once again slams into me and drags me to the ground.

“Bastard! I was so close!” I yell as I struggle against him. 

“Not close enough evidently,” he replies coolly, holding onto me with ease.

I swing around to face him and reach for my knife. I withdraw it from my belt and move to slice him only for his hand to clamp around my wrist, stopping me. I meet his eyes again and feel the breath leave my body as we just stare at each other. His icy blue eyes meet my own and I can feel myself lose my resolve. 

I gently allow the knife to fall from my hand.


	3. Chapter 3

The few moments that it takes for the other Scouts and MPs to catch up to us felt like eternity as Levi and I stood there. Our eyes focus on nothing but each other as his hand was still wrapped around my wrist and my other hand clutched his shirt. Although he seemed cold, there was a certain vibe to him that interested me. I can’t describe what it was though.

I didn’t have enough time to figure it out before I was once again surrounded, this time no one decided to try and restrain my arms – they left that to Levi. Smart move. I hear the groan of the MP that previously restrained me as another MP helps him walk. 

“Are you willing to cooperate with us now, Miss Marsh?” Eyebrows asks as he approaches us. 

I break my eye contact with Levi and try to snatch my wrist away from him. His grip tightens. Sighing, I turn to look at Eyebrows.

“Fine,” I state grimly. “It’s not like I have a choice.”

Eyebrows chuckles lowly. “Very true.”

……….

“You realise they’ll give me a death sentence, right?” I ask Erwin (I still prefer Eyebrows) tiredly as the carriage takes us back into the inner city to court where I’ll be charged for my crimes. I’m not sure if it’s the fact I’ve lost a lot of blood or that that fight was just wild, but I feel exhausted.

“I wouldn’t be so sure, Miss Marsh,” he replies. Great. No straight answer yet again. 

I yawn for the billionth time, covering my mouth awkwardly with my handcuffed hands.

“Can you stop? You’re making me tired just looking at you,” Levi says irritably. 

“Well then stop looking at me, dumbass,” I snap back.

Levi glares at me and for a moment I do the same until I notice the bags under his eyes. He probably gets as much sleep as I do at night. Not surprising though, I’m sure even the best Scouts have nightmares. 

I soften my gaze and go back to looking out of the window. I feel Levi’s gaze continue to linger on me.

I don’t know when I fell asleep but when I open my eyes the carriage had come to a stop. 

“Finally,” I whisper. 

“What do you mean ‘finally’?” Levi mutters, rolling his eyes as he moves past me to leave the carriage. “You were asleep for half the journey.”

I scoff at him but turn my attention to Erwin as I remember the situation I’m in. Yes, the man is rather odd but I’ll give it to him that he seems intelligent enough. For someone that wanted me captured alive so badly, it seems odd that he’d just escort me to my death. I’m not scared of death if that counts for anything, I just wasn’t planning on it happening so soon. I still need to take care of those three. Who else is gonna put up with Eren’s temper? Or Mikasa’s coldness? Or Armin’s… Well Armin is just lovely to be fair. It’s the other two I worry about. Still, I’m sure they can fend for themselves but twelve years old is a bit young to live on your own. I should know beca-

“Rose?” 

I startle out of my thoughts and focus on Erwin again who seems to have been stood holding the door for me for a little while. 

“Sorry, I zoned out for a moment,” I say, shrugging, trying to seem calm. Erwin appears to have seen right through me.

“Don’t overthink this, Rose, they won’t kill you,” he says warmly.

I side-eye him for a moment.

“You can’t know that for sure. By the sounds of it, you’re more than aware of my record. They’re not going to let someone like me walk freely from this,” I say, walking past him. “So, I thank you both for acting as my escorts, but I don’t think there’s any need for you to follow me in,” I pause. “Well unless you fancy watching me die that is.”

“Tsk.”

I glance over at Levi who’s rolling his eyes at me again. In the five minutes I’ve known him, I’d say he’s developed a habit of it when I’m around.

“Shut up, escort,” I mutter before turning back to Erwin. “You know, I’m wondering if this is just your way of washing your hands of me to avoid paperwork.”

Erwin looks at me questioningly so I continue.

“You could have easily just killed me in the underground and be done with it instead of bringing me to court where they’ll just have me executed anyway,” I say, raising an eyebrow and walking away. 

Erwin waits a second before following me towards the court, two armed MPs stand at the doorway as we enter the building. They eye me up and down but pay no attention to Levi and Erwin aside from straightening up a bit. They must know who they are. 

Two more guards greet us as we walk towards the courtroom itself. Well, I say greet us, they nod at Erwin before one of them roughly grabs my handcuffs leads me forwards. Asshole. I can walk myself. I stay quiet though. For all of the meaningless things I said to Erwin and Levi in the carriage, I know that that was then and this is now and now is not the time for smart remarks. I have to try and defend my case for Eren, Mikasa and Armin’s sake. 

The courtroom itself was smaller than I expected but was still packed with a lot of people, all of them unfamiliar faces, yet they all seem to know exactly who I am. I quickly hide the smirk that began to make its way onto my face. To be fair, I’ve probably made their lives a living hell if they are familiar with me. 

The MP pulling me by my handcuffs roughly forces me to my knees in the center of the room. I glance over to see Erwin and Levi make their way over to one of the stands next to me.

“Rose Marsh,” a booming voice urges me to face the front of the room to the judge. “Do you know why you are here?”

“Yes, your honour,” I state.

“You have committed vast acts of crimes both within the walls and underground,” the judge answers. “These include assault, robbery, theft, torture and murder.”

I visibly stiffen at the word ‘murder’. Of all the crimes I have committed, I didn’t think they’d bring up that one. I daren’t steal a glance at Levi and Erwin. They knew they were in a carriage with a murderer and yet they still spoke to me normally. No wonder they volunteered to escort me to my death.

“How do you plead to these accusations?” the judge continued.

I pause for a second to clear my head. Professional and calm, Rose. Just like always. 

“Guilty.”

There are a few murmurs in the crowd and this time I can’t help but glance at the two Scouts. I was once again met with Levi’s piercing eyes, but they seemed much colder than before, distant even. Erwin was leaning towards him, whispering something to him. My head snapped back to look at the judge. 

“The sentencing for your crimes is death,” the judge exclaims. “Do you accept that sentence?”

Well fuck, okay. He got straight to the point there. I tilt my head down to cover my eyes with my fringe as much as possible while searching the room for an exit. Of course, this room happens to only have one entrance and exit and that might as well be as far away as the moon for how much use that is. 

I’m sorry, Eren. You, Mikasa and Armin are on your own.

I raise my head to meet the judge’s glance once again.

“I accept.”

“However, there is another option,” he replies, looking at me challengingly.

I raise an eyebrow at him. Another option? 

“Another option, your honour?” I repeat back to him in confusion.

Hope bubbles up in me at the chance of possibly seeing my friends again. I don’t care what the other option is, I have to take it. For their sake. 

“Yes, Commander Erwin proposed another option for your sentencing,” the judge responded gesturing over to Erwin. Wait… Commander Erwin?

I turn my head slowly while still looking at the judge to see if he was joking before finally turning my gaze to Erwin. Oh. Now I get it.

Realisation of what is happening engulfs me like a dark cloud. 

I look to the man with the giant eyebrows for confirmation but instead find myself staring defiantly at Levi as Erwin spoke. Levi looked back at me with the same cold gaze except he still looked distant.

“I propose that you join the Scout Regiment under Captain Levi’s supervision, Miss Marsh,” Erwin announces. 

A murmur of whispers erupt across the room as everyone discusses the proposal. They’d probably prefer to see me executed personally rather than have a titan do it.

I continue to stare at Levi with a mix of rage and relief. They both knew that this was going to happen. That’s why he wouldn’t let me escape. Bastard. My eyes dart to Erwin to see him smiling at me expectantly. A genuine smile. It’s pretty intimidating actually. Seems like they’re both sadists. 

The judge clears his throat to bring everyone’s attention back to him. He looks at me as if he already knows what my reply will be to his next question.

“Which sentencing do you choose, Miss Marsh. The death sentence or the proposal to join the Scout Regiment?” 

To be honest, they’re both essentially the same. One’s just more of a long-term issue than the other. Still, I might be able to see the others again… and I will finally have the chance to settle the score with the titans.

I look up at the judge and then snap my gaze to Levi as I make my decision, to let him know exactly who he’s taking on.

“I choose to join the Scout Regiment.”


	4. Chapter 4

If you think working for the Scout Regiment would be easy, then you’d be wrong. No one told me that as part of my sentence, I’d have to complete three years of training in the Cadet Corps before actually joining the Scouts. Still, it’s not been too bad if I’m honest. The training itself is difficult but manageable and the improvements in my body’s skill is exciting. Not only that but my fellow cadets have all been pretty nice and even the ones that aren’t still have some good moments. It feels like we’re a family even if it’s dysfunctional. 

To be honest though, even admitting that to myself drowns me in a wave of guilt. I haven’t seen Eren, Mikasa and Armin even once in the last three years. I never saw them again after that job in the underground. The MPs let me send them a letter although I have no idea if it even got to them. I’m sure they’re okay, I know I left them with more than enough money to get by thanks to my previous career, but even so I worry. God they must be about fifteen years old now. Damn. 

They’re already teenagers and I’m nearly an adult. I feel like I’ve wasted my teenage years and never got to enjoy theirs’ with them. Still, I kept them as safe as I could, and aside from that letter, no one knows I had any connection with them so they’re safe from my past for now too. That lets me sleep at night at least.

After my sentencing at the court, I never saw Erwin or Levi again. It’s a bit bullshit if you ask me, I was supposed to be in the Scouts and under Levi’s supervision yet here I am training with cardboard cut-outs of titans. Still, it could be worse, it could be a lot worse.

During this training, I haven’t just been working towards my grade, I’ve been training for myself. Once I’m outside those walls, we’ll be on our own and then only Levi will stand in my way of escaping and finding Eren and the others. I won’t let him stop me again. With any luck, he won’t remember me aside from my name and I can pretend to be the perfect soldier until I get my chance of freedom. Of course, taking out a few titans in the meantime will certainly be enjoyable. I’ll get some practice for when me and Eren continue on our mission to destroy each and every one. 

There’s no point day-dreaming about the future, for now I need to focus on my training to make that future my reality. 

“Motherfucker,” Marlo yells as he slams onto the ground. He groans in pain and rolls over to his front, rubbing his back.

“Rose, do you really need to be that violent?” he asks, still clutching at his back as he tries to stand.

“Look, I’m not going to stop you from improving by going easy on you,” I giggle in reply before reaching out a hand to help him up.

Marlo exhales a throaty laugh and clasps my hand, standing up.

“Yeah, but you’re version of ‘going easy’ still bloody hurts,” he chuckles. “Besides, I’m just as strong as you, you just fight dirty.” 

Marlo ducks and playfully punches me on the arm as I slap him away.

“You know, I wouldn’t be surprised if the rumours about you being some convicted criminal were true,” he says, keeling over with laughter at his joke.

No one other than those in the court room knew about my past and my criminal record. It was decided that anonymity in that regard would be the best decision for me to make the most of my training to be a good asset to the Scouts. Because that’s all I am to them, a good asset. Still, some rumours have since trickled in which leaves me at the butt of several jokes but it does get interesting to hear people’s theories on my past.

“I mean, it would explain why you’re so good with 3dmg gear… and it would definitely explain why you have a grudge against Captain Levi,” Marlo joked, elbowing me in the gut.

“I told you, I don’t have a grudge against him, I just don’t like him!” I retorted.

“Rose, you’re nineteen, people our age don’t just ‘dislike’ someone without a reason-“

“I do have a reason! He’s got a bad attitude and thinks he’s better than everyone and looks down on-“ I interrupt Marlo only for him to interrupt me.

“Oh come oooon, have you seen him? He’s too short to look down on people, well, maybe unless they’re your height,” Marlo snickers, dodging the half-hearted punch I throw in his direction.

“I’m not that short. He’s only like one inch taller than me,” I reply nonchalantly.

“See! How would you know that unless you knew him personally!” Marlo shouted dramatically. I mean, he’s got you there, chief. Damn me and my defensive ass.

“I bet you only know Levi because he was the one who caught you and that’s also why you have such a grudge against him,” Marlo continued, oblivious to my reaction and now I his own little world imagining how my first encounter with Levi went down.

I froze. How on Earth can someone be so smart and so dense to joke about something while also making a completely accurate assumption. 

I sigh before ruffling his hair.

“And that my friend is something we will never know for certain,” I say defeatedly before grinning. “Anyway, that’s enough hand-to-hand combat training for today. Isn’t it dinnertime?”

“Rose, it was dinnertime twenty minutes ago but you said you wanted to practice some more,” Marlo narrows his eyes at me.

I shrug, before tugging on his arm and dragging him towards our living quarters to find the others.

……….

“Today you have completed your military training. I will now announce the ten among you who have obtained the top training results. Come forward if I call your name,” our mentor bellows out to us.

My heart is beating fast with anticipation, this is it. I’ve been a good student, now I can finally slip into the Scouts and plan my escape. 

“…At the head of the class…”

As long as I keep my head down then it should all go simply-

“Rose Marsh.”

Oh shit. Oh fuck, no no no no no no no. 

“Second is Marlo….”

My brain goes blank and I can no longer hear the instructor’s voice. I don’t even register Marlo pulling me to the front to stand in front of everyone in a line. Top of the class? How can I be top of the class? All I wanted was to train – oh I’m such an idiot of course the mentor would keep note of my improvements. Fuck. This is gonna make things a lot harder for me, now everyone in the MPs and Scouts will know my name. I was certain Marlo would get a higher grade than me. Oh, why dammit!

“...rose. Rose!” I snap about of my thoughts as I feel myself being shaken back and forth vigorously. 

“W-what?!” I sputter before realizing it was Marlo.

“You’ve been zoned out for ages and you’re missing the party! C’mon it’s a celebration! Loads of people are gonna buy you drinks after you’ve been named top of the class!” he shouts. I’ve never seen him so happy. Isn’t he sad he didn’t come top of the class?

I let myself get pulled into our living quarters only to be met with all my friends raising their glasses to me and cheering.

“Woah, c’mon guys it’s not that big of a deal,” I start, trying to calm everyone down from their ridiculous excitement.

“But you’re top of the class! I bet you’re thrilled!” 

Yeah. I’m ecstatic. 

“Which branch are you gonna choose?” a drunken voice shouts from across the room.

“The Scouts,” I reply with no thought only to have the entire room fall into silence.  
Oh. Come to think of it, I never really gave it much thought. Well, not that I even have the choice. I have to go with the Scouts, right? Like hell would I be seen dead with the Military Police. Ha. Well they’d probably have liked to see me dead but I refuse to give them that satisfaction, I’d rather hate my life playing soldier with-

“..Levi.”

“What?” I jolt, turning to Marlo who gave me a shit-eating grin in response.

“I just said that I bet you’re joining the Scouts to see Levi again,” he said smugly, enjoying the giggles and jeers he got as a reaction from the rest of the room.

“Pfffft, absolutely not,” I argue, rolling my eyes, happily accepting the large glass of beer being handed to me.

“Oh yeah? Well maybe it’s because that’s what the court sentenced you with after you were arrested,” he retorts, sticking his tongue out at me as I take a swig of my drink.

The beer instantly goes up my nose and I keel over with a violent coughing fit as everyone else bursts out laughing. Seriously? How can they all be so dense?

“Alright alright, I’ll stop teasing you,” Marlo jokes, slapping me on the back until the coughing stops. “So why do you want to join the Scouts?”

After a deep gulp of air, I shoot a death glare at him before mulling over his question. Obviously I wouldn’t have gone out of my way to join the Scouts if I’d have had the choice, but given my situation I can’t just say ‘surprise I’m a convicted murderer’. Suddenly Eren’s face pops into my head.

“I want to join the Scouts because I want to kill the titans,” I state like it’s the most simple thing in the world.

Everyone looks at me like I’d just killed someone in front of them.

“Are you crazy?” the drunk voice from before gurgles out. Everyone else looks at me with expressions that said that were wondering the same thing. Sigh.

“Five years ago when the titans broke through Wall Maria, I lived in Shinganshina,” I began, instantly gaining everyone’s attention. “I watched thousands of people be devoured and torn apart right in front of my eyes. Luckily, I made it onto one of the boats that was rescuing evacuees and that’s when I met my friend, Eren. Everyone else on the boat looked so destroyed and defeated, but he was angry, so angry that I can’t even describe it. Eren then claimed that he was going to destroy every last titan. And well, I decided to join him on his mission.”

You could have heard a penny drop. 

“You’re from Shinganshina?” someone asked. Oh I thought I’d already mentioned it-

“You watched people get eaten by titans, yet you still want to join the Scouts?”

“Yep, she’s definitely a psycho.”

Marlo waved away their questions to get them to cam down and distracted them with pack of cards to play poker with. Then he grabbed my hand and took me outside for some fresh air.

“The Scout Regiment? Are you sure?” he asks with a concerned expression. I wave off his concern.

“Of course I’m sure. We’ve spoken about me joining them enough,” I reply with a smile to try and lighten the mood. It didn’t work.

“But Rose, it’s dangerous! You could d-“

“Don’t you think I know that?!” I snap, before taking a deep breath. “Besides, it’s not like I have a choice,” I mutter before realizing my mistake.

Marlo eyes me with suspicion. “What? Of course you have a choice! You came at the head of the class!” he says incredulously.

“Oh no of course I do!” I answer quickly. “It’s just that I promised Eren a long time ago that I’d help him fight titans.”

“Who even is this Eren? You’ve never mentioned him before,” Marlo questions, his voice getting higher pitched.

I scratch at the scar on my arm nervously. I forgot I’d never brought the others up before. Anonymity was their best protection and now I’ve just thrown Eren’s name out into the world without thinking.

“He’s no one. Just an old friend. It’s not like I’ve seen him in years, he probably doesn’t even remember me,” I say quietly.

Marlo sighs, then places a hand on my shoulder. 

“You’re hard to forget, Rose.”


	5. Chapter 5

A bead of sweat rolls down my face as I push the cannon into position. I wipe my face with the back of my hand before turning to Marlo.

“Is that better?” I pant.

He doesn’t even look at me before replying. “Eh, could be a bit more over to the left.”

I sigh and edge the cannon an extra inch over to the left, before collapsing next to it, reaching for my flask of water.

“I’m done, it’s staying there, I don’t care if it’s wonky,” I whine before dumping some of the water over my head to cool down. 

“Can you believe training is already over?” Marlo asks, his voice distant.

I pause and lean my head back against the cannon, looking out at the view beyond the walls.

“No, I guess not. I never really thought about it,” I reply honestly. My mind had been so focused on just training and joining the Scouts that I never really wondered about leaving the Cadets.

“It’s gonna be sad saying goodbye to everyone,” he mused.

“Well yeah but I’m sure you’ll see them around! Most of them are either joining the Garrison or the MPs like you if they were in the top ten,” I reply, taking another sip of my water.

“You sure about that?” he replies, his tone sounding unfamiliar. 

“Yeah, why?”

“Most of them are joining the Scouts,” he replies blankly.

I spit out my water in a mix of shock and panic. 

“What do you mean they’re joining the Scouts?!” I yell.

Marlo turns his head and studies me for a moment before looking back at the view of the city from the wall.

“I think you made quite the impression on them last night with your little speech. You inspired them,” he mutters.

I struggle to conjure any words in response. I’m dumbfounded.

“I didn’t inspire them! That was just a story to get them to shut up, I don’t want them to join the Scouts!”

“Well it’s too late for that now,” he chuckles humorlessly. 

We sit in silence for a while, neither of us knowing what to say to the other. I don’t even know what to say to the others when I see them. They all want to join the Scouts? It’s too dangerous! I’m only joining because I have to and even then it won’t be for long. 

My breath catches in my throat.

If they all join the Scouts then my secret will be out. They’ll know who I am and what I’ve really done. Not only that but then my chances of escaping unnoticed will be even lower. And I’ll have them to deal with as well as Levi. I have to convince them not to. I can’t let them join the Scouts and drag them into thi-

The wall suddenly rumbles beneath us, shaking us slightly. What is that?

“An earthquake?” I ask Marlo only to look at his face and feel a cold sweat hit me. He was frozen in what could only be described as a petrified stare. I turn around to face the city to see what he was looking at and stopped. I probably wore the same expression as him. 

Not again.

I watched in horror as the massive face that I knew all too well peered over the wall. There seemed to be soldiers who were on top of the wall right next to where the Colossal Titan had appeared. That could have been us. We could have been on that side of the wall today.

That’s when I realise what the shaking from earlier had been caused by. After the cloud of dust had started to dissipate, all that was left was a huge gaping hole in the side of the wall. 

All the nightmares I have had over the past five years are becoming my reality and I’m on the wrong side of the city to stop it.

I snap myself out of whatever terror-induced trance I was in a jump up onto my feet, grabbing Marlo and pulling him up in seconds.

“We have to go and help, come on!” I scream at him, but his eyes stay wide and transfixed on the monster in front of us. “Marlo, please!”

I look back at the Colossal Titan just in time to see a large cloud of smoke erupt from it and disappear. It disappeared, just like it did five years ago. But how-?

“You two!” A member of the Garrison sprints up to us, his eyes as horrified as our own. “The Scout Regiment are away on an excavation mission which means it is up to the Garrison and the qualified Cadets to go on the front line! Report to HQ immediately!”

He didn’t need to tell me twice. I took off running without looking back to see if Marlo was behind me.

……….

“This is what we’ve been training for guys, we can do it!” I urge the rest of the Cadets that I have gotten to know inside and out over the past few years. None of them look recognizable right now. In fact they do, they all picture the faces of the people on the boat five years ago. They all look defeated. 

“You all look like victims! We’re not victims yet! We were kids when that bastard last showed up and we were helpless! But look at us now, we are humanity’s only hope and we are gonna have to fight to save it,” I scream. “Stop looking defeated and fight for our freedom so that this bullshit never happens again!”

I turn to look at the city from our view from on top of Wall Rose. Ironic that the wall that was my name-sake is now the very thing I am willing to die to protect. I ready my 3dmg gear only to hearing the Cadets behind me get to their feet and preparing to fight. Tears fill my vision but I shake my head, willing them to go away. Let’s do this.

I throw myself off the roof and immediately grapple to the nearest building. We’re on the opposite side of the city to the titans.

It shouldn’t be hard to find them, I think bitterly.

The wind rushes through my ears like in training, but it feels different yet somehow familiar. This reminds me of that night three years ago that started the catalyst to get me to this point. The feeling of weightlessness as the adrenaline pumps through my body, the determination flowing through my veins. But this time I’m not running from something, I’m running toward something.

I spot the first titan and effortlessly drag my blades across its neck, carving a chunk out of it. Success!

“Did you see that? We can really do this!” I shout in excitement.

I’m not alone, I have my family beside me. As long as I have them, I won’t fail. I turn a tight corner and fling myself over several houses at once. Then it hits me, I’m the only one of the Cadets that’s familiar with combat and using 3dmg gear in a city landscape. All of our training was among trees. They’re not as prepared as- 

Sudden movement catches my eye but moves too quickly for me to react in time. It darts past me into the Cadets behind me. Everything stops as I whip around and pray that it didn’t get anyone.

The screams tell me the answer I can’t stand to hear.

I turn with my 3dmg gear to go back and help but I’m too far away. Even as I push my 3dmg gear to the max, I can’t do anything but watch from afar as my family is devoured in the blink of an eye. Arms reach out at nothing as the jaws of the titan clamp onto their flesh, crunching straight through the bone. Nothing but blood and screams. 

I failed. I failed and I lost everything again. Nothing has changed. I’m still too weak. I-

My knees buckle as I reach the ground. It’s over. Everything I’ve fought for is gone. My whole body is numb. I can’t move, even as I hear the footsteps of the abnormal titan walk towards me. What’s wrong with me? I couldn’t save them and now I can’t even save myself. Why should I move? I should just let myself die with them. 

My vision blurs but the tears refuse to fall. I don’t even deserve to mourn them. This is my fault. If I hadn’t gone so far ahead then maybe they’d still be alive. If only it had gone for me and not them, then they could have lived. Why am I still alive? It should be them. I’m a criminal, I have so many sins on my shoulders, so why do I get to live? I lean my head back and look at the sky before closing my eyes. If this is how I die, then so be it. Then neither the Military Police nor the Scouts get to witness my death. That court trial was all for nothing. 

The foot of the abnormal titan comes to a stop less than twenty metres away from me. This is it. After all of this training, I only got to kill one titan and now it’s my turn to be eaten. An eye for an eye I guess. 

Wait.

No. 

My feet find the strength to stand as a familiar trio of faces come to mind. I made a promise that I will escape from here and find them. I will find those three and dedicate the rest of my life to protecting them. They’re my hope. And they’re the last family I have left. I can’t die now. I won’t let the Cadets’ deaths be for nothing. I will avenge each and every one and kill every last titan.

The sound of another titan comes from behind me. Looks like I now have two to deal with.

I’m not done yet.

I replenish my blades and face the abnormal that ruined everything. That abnormal titan symbolizes everything I am fighting against. I won’t leave until it’s nothing but dirt on the ground. I adjust the blades in my hand and square off the titan. 

“I won’t let you take everything from me again. Never again.”

Just as my fingers reach for the triggers of my 3dmg gear, a foot crashes down right next to me, the force of it throwing me into the air. Out of instinct I grapple up the building beside me and scramble onto the roof. What I see is… rage.

The titan in front of me is muscular with brown hair and piercing green eyes. It tenses its body as though preparing for combat but not against me, against the abnormal. I watch as its fist flies into the abnormal’s head at speed, ripping it straight from its neck. 

A titan just… killed another titan.

I don’t have time to process what I just saw before the titan leans back and unleashes an excruciating roar that forces me to cover my ears. It seems, different. And angry. So angry.

Suddenly I hear 3dmg gear and a hand is on my back and arm, pulling me up onto my feet. My eyes are met with a familiar bob of blond hair and bright innocent eyes. They haven’t changed.

“Are you okay? Are you hurt? Did that titan attack-“

“Armin?” I ask the boy, my body shaking. 

Armin looks at me oddly before his eyes widen and he wrenches me into a bone-shattering hug.

“Armin, is it really you?” I ask, my voice starting to sound hoarse as I choke up. 

He pulls back from the hug and looks at me with a sad smile on his face.

“Yeah it’s me, Rose,” he says sadly, his eyes never leaving mine. 

"You're in the Cadet Corps?" I ask as my eyes focus on his jacket. Wait, what? How can he? 

"Yeah we're in the South Division, you must be... in the North?" he replies. 

"Wait, how come you're in the Cadets?" I jump in. "I mean, of course I expected Eren to be but..." 

I can see tears begin to build in the blue orbs.

“Hey, it’s okay, there’s no need to cry, we can get out of this,” I assure him, wiping his tears with my hands only to find it making him cry more.

“No, that’s not it- I,” he pauses as though he’s trying to hold himself together. “I just wish Eren was here to see you.”

“Well, once this is all over, we can go see him and Mikasa together,” I reply, tears starting to fall from my eyes.

“No, we can’t,” Armin starts and interrupts me before I can reply. “Eren’s dead.”

The tears stop.

Everything stops.

I just found my will to fight again and as quickly as I found it it’s gone. He-

“He can’t be…” I choke.

“I saw it happen,” Armin sobs, no longer looking at me.

My hands drop from his face to my sides as I feel myself zoning out. Eren can’t be dead, he’s too motivated and determind. He has such an intense sense of purpose. I could never argue with him, I never wanted to crush his spirit. His spirit was- no his spirit is so alive. And he is so driven by… rage.

My gaze drifts in the direction of the abnormal titan.

I shake my head and snap out of my thoughts. I can’t space out at a time like this not again. 

“Armin, we have to go,” I state coldly, gripping his hand and dragging him to the edge of the roof. “Can you move?”

He nods at me, surprised but says nothing. “There’s a titan over there that’s an abnormal. Not like the other abnormals but really abnormal. I watched him walk right past me and kill another titan,” I say bluntly.

Without another word, I jump from the roof and grapple to the next house along, launching myself into the air in the direction of the abnormal titan. 

Along the way, a guy who looks to be the same age as Armin joins us in the air.

“Armin, what are you doing? We need supplies but the supply team aren’t responding. HQ is surrounded by titans, what are we going to do?” he rapidly asks Armin who can barely keep up with his words.

“I’m following Rose, Jean,” he replies simply. I glance over to see his face look as blank as mine. We’re both blocking out our emotions to see this thing through. It will work. It has to.

Jean looks from Armin to me incredulously and reaches for Armin’s arm.

“Who the fuck is Rose? Why are you following her?” He shouts, tugging at Armin to change direction.

Armin doesn’t reply.

“Jean or whatever your name is, there is a titan who is killing other titans. If HQ needs help then maybe that titan is our solution,” I shout back at him.

“Are you crazy?” 

The phrase is like a slap across my face. Memories of the previous night’s party and celebrations flash in front of my eyes like a film. Okay, I have to do this. For them.

“Just trust me, okay? It will work!” I respond with a determination I haven’t felt in a long time. 

It doesn’t take us long to catch up with the abnormal titan who has left a path of titan corpses in his wake. So, he really is killing them, it wasn’t just a fluke. I look ahead to spot him running towards the large group of titans hounding HQ. Well that’s convenient.

Immediately, he starts tearing each titan apart like they’re nothing but pests. His movements seem so human. He almost reminds me of-

“C’mon, we can get into HQ while there’s an opening!” Jean shouts. I urge them to go on ahead before turning towards the abnormal titan to observe it. The damage it has caused is incredible. Nearly all of the titans attacking HQ have been massacred. 

I can’t even think of the words to describe what I’m seeing before I notice. The abnormal titan is being eaten alive; 3 other titans are digging into its flesh with their teeth. Cannibalism? In all the records on titans, I’ve never heard of them committing acts of cannibalism. Yet here I am watching them rip the abnormal’s arms off like chicken legs.

Without thinking, I grapple onto HQ and swing towards the abnormal, slicing into the necks of two of the titans that were biting into it. As their corpses hit the ground and I land on the roof of a nearby building, I see another large titan approach the abnormal. But something is different, it’s as though the abnormal recognizes the titan. It roars and drags the other titan that was still holding on along as it launches itself at this new titan. The abnormal sinks its teeth into the new titans neck and throws it into a building before collapsing to the ground.

I’m speechless. The abnormal even knew where the titan’s weak spot was. But how?

I hear several sets of 3dmg gear approach and land on the roof beside me.

“Rose?”

I don’t even need to turn to face her to know it’s Mikasa, I spin around and launch myself at her, catching her in a hug. Neither of us say anything, we don’t need to. She just wraps her arms around me and sobs into my shoulder. 

“Guys look! What’s that in the abnormal?” Armin yells to us, causing me and Mikasa to pull apart. Both of us recognize the shape in the abnormal instantly, with us jumping off the roof in sync and sprinting over. My heart beats so loudly I can feel it. 

Mikasa embraces him as I confirm that his heart is beating. He’s… alive. 

Eren’s alive. I step back and look at all of the demolition around us.

Eren did all of this?

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> ..........
> 
> Okay, I know this chapter isn't great but it's just to help the plot move along, so please excuse it!
> 
> Besides, 
> 
> It's going to be Levi's debut in the next chapter x


	6. Chapter 6

“Stand back, Cadet!”

“Over my dead body!” 

My knuckles are white as I clench my blades, quivering with anger. My entire body feels hot with rage as I stand my ground between the Garrison and my friends. Mikasa and Armin hold onto Eren trying to wake him up while I try to talk the Garrison soldiers down – not that they’ll listen to me. I gave up my pleasantries a while ago after they aimed the cannons at us. 

“He’s a danger to mankind, Cadet. To defend him is treason,” the soldier bellows at me. His voice is loud but I can see in his eyes that he’s being guided by fear not reason. 

“Then so be it,” I reply smoothly. “If you want Eren, you’re going to have to go through me.” I raise a blade directly at the soldier, challenging him.

“Rose, they’re not going to listen to us if we threaten them,” Armin urges from behind me. 

“They’re not going to listen to us either way, Armin. Either way, she’s giving us time,” Mikasa replies, about to say something else. She stops once Eren starts to move.

“Arm the cannons! He’s a monster, we don’t know what he’s capable of,” the soldier yells out.

“Eren’s not the monster here,” I reply coldly. “The only monsters here are you treacherous thugs turning on your own comrades without hearing us out!”

“-what? Rose? What’s going on?” Eren speaks up. I turn my head to look back at him to see his eyes widen as he starts to realise the situation we’re in. 

“Tell us, monster, are you a human or a titan?!” the Garrison captain shouts.

Silence. Everyone looks directly at Eren, eager to hear his response. I suppose in the end, they’re all just confused and scared of the unknown. Titan or not, Eren is Eren. There’s no need to fear him when all he has are good intentions. Still, this is certainly… different from the Eren I know. I don’t remember him turning into titans a few years ago. What changed? What did I miss?

“What?” Eren replies after several seconds. “Titan? How could I be a titan?” he asks no one in particular.

“Do you not remember what happened, Eren?” I ask him gently, trying to be careful with my words. 

He shakes his head.

“You were… eaten by a titan. And then somehow you… became a titan and started killing other titans,” I continue, studying his facial expressions.

Eren turns pale and stares at his hand.

“I was eaten? And what do you mean I turned into a titan?” he asks, his mind seemingly somewhere else.

“We were kind of hoping you’d have the answer for that one,” I respond with a smile that didn’t quite meet my eyes.

“But I don’t remember anything…” Eren drifts off, trying to think back to the today’s earlier events.

“Don’t play dumb! You were spotted emerging from the carcass of a fallen titan in full view of your comrades!” the Garrison soldier screamed.

Eren lets out an audible gasp. As I look back at him, he looks like he’s seen a ghost. He must be having an inner battle with himself. To be fair, if he can’t remember anything then this must be hard to hear.

“I’ll ask you one more time. Are you a human or a titan?” the soldier shouts once more.

Eren clenches his fists and lifts his head to make eye contact with the captain.

“I’m… I’m human!”

At first, no one says or does anything. Then I see the Garrison soldier raise his arm. 

“Eren Jaeger, Rose Marsh, Mikasa Ackerman and Armin Arlert. You have all committed acts of high treason – the death penalty is the punishment for such a crime,” the Garrison soldier yells, a mad look in his eye. 

“I’ve been threatened with that before, sir. You don’t scare me,” I shout back.

“Humanity is at stake and I cannot waste anymore time on you. You’re a risk to everyone’s safety!”

I stiffen but spread my arms out. Mikasa moves to stand beside me. 

“We are all top rate soldiers, some of the best of our divisions. Are you willing to risk losing us?” I ask defiantly before glancing back at the others. “Brace yourselves, we’ve got trouble.”

I turn back to make a last-ditch attempt at somehow stopping the soldiers but I freeze when I see his arm come down. 

“Rose, Mikasa!” Eren yells and I feel Mikasa drag me backwards just as the sound of cannons rings through our ears.

A flash of yellow light. Everything goes white.

My lungs feel like their burning as I inhale what I think is smoke, but as the fog clears I realise it’s more than that. Surrounding us, is a skeleton. Eren?

I turn to Mikasa and Armin. Armin looks like he might faint whereas as the sudden appearance hasn’t seemed to faze Mikasa at all. We hear Eren above us only for him to jump off what must have been the neck of the half-formed titan and join us inside the ribcage.

“Eren, how did you…?” I begin but my words fail me.

“I don’t know,” he pants. “All I remember is the cannons going off and then everything happened like a reflex. I just wanted to stop the cannon ball.”

“We don’t have long until they reload the cannon, we have to figure out a way to get out of here,” he adds.

“But we’re still surrounded, although saying that you’ve probably provided a good enough distraction for them,” I reply, my eyes drifting to the decaying corpse around us. 

“You guys need to get out of here, I’m going to run and try and get across the wall. Then, I’ll turn into a titan and go to Shinganshina. I just remembered… my dad told me the secret to the titans is in the cellar,” Eren says before punching the already crumbling skeleton. “Dammit, why couldn’t he have explained this all to me? Why did he keep all this information a secret? How many people have died because of him?”

Mikasa places a hand on Eren’s shoulder.

“Eren, we have more important business to attend to,” she says coldly.

He nods.

“Well you guys can start by not defending me, then they might let you go. After that, I’ll go on my own,” Eren states.

“I’m going with you, Eren,” Mikasa responds instantly. Eren immediately shakes his head and starts arguing with her. She’s always had Eren’s back. I guess not everything has changed in these last three years.

“Armin, is there a way we can convince them that Eren isn’t a danger?” I ask, focusing on the blond who’s stayed silent.

“I don’t know-“ he starts.

“Maybe I could use my titan ability under the direction of the military?” Eren muses. “You could explain to them that I’m an asset and not a risk.”

“What? Why me?” Armin argues, doubting himself.

“Because you always keep a level head,” Eren answers with a small smile.

“Besides, you can probably get the point across far better than Mikasa and I – we’re too aggressive,” I add. 

Armin lowers his head and considers it for a moment.

“Fine. I’ll do it,” Armin states suddenly, a new determination in his eyes. “I can do this.”

He turns away from us and walks through the smoke to face the soldiers. I hope he can do this, no, I know he can do this – I just hope they listen to him. Eren and Mikasa stay silent as we listen to Armin   
present his case to the Garrison captain.

“Eren is not a foe of humanity!” Armin yells, his hands held up in surrender. “We’re willing to cooperate with military command and tell them everything we know.”

“If you insist he’s not our enemy then show me proof!” The captain shouts back, his voice waivering slightly. He really is all bark and no bite, you can hear the fear in his voice. A coward hiding behind cannon fire. No wonder he chose to be apart of the Garrison Regiment to hide behind the walls.

“You don’t need proof!” Armin screams. “When Eren was witnessed by soldiers in his titan form, they reported him attacking other titans while those titans attacked him. No matter how you look at it, that proves that in the titan’s eyes, he’s the same as us!”

There are murmurs among the other soldiers as they mull over Armin’s words. 

“Prepare to attack! Do not be fooled by his cunning lies!” the Garrison captain shouts to all of the soldiers. The coward.

I stand up, ignoring Mikasa and Eren’s protests and make my way outside of the skeleton to stand by Armin’s side. Armin looks at me in panic and then surprise as he sees me salute the captain.

“We are soldiers. We have dedicated our hearts to the restoration of humanity. Nothing would make be prouder than dying for a comrade,” I announce to the crowd. I look at Armin who nods at me in understanding before joining me with a salute.

“If we were to use his titan ability and combine it with our manpower, I believe we can reclaim this city,” Armin shouts. “For humanity’s glory, I will advocate his strategic value!”

I can’t help but smile slightly at his words, even in the current situation. Armin always has had a way with words, he could convince me to do anything. He may be older, but just like Eren and Mikasa, he’s still the same kid I knew. 

The smile falls from my face instantly as the captain raises his arm again to signal for the cannon to be fired a second time. Judging by Eren’s erratic breathing and clammy skin, I doubt he’s got the strength to protect us again. That skeleton isn’t going to last much longer either – it’s disintegrating as we speak.

“That’s enough.”

Suddenly, there’s a hand clasped around the Garrison captain’s arm, stopping his order.

“Can’t you see these soldiers’ heartfelt salutes, Captain?” the man says. “The least we can do is hear what these Cadets have to say.”

……….

The battle for Trost is our last chance to prove that Eren isn’t a monster.

While it seems like the commander is listening to us, I know he’s just curious to see what Eren can do. This is a test. If Eren can’t fix the hole in Trost’s outer wall, we’re all dead.

I look to my right at Mikasa who meets my gaze. Alright, let’s do this.

“Marsh, to your left,” Rico commands. No wonder she’s the leader of her own squad, she’s got a keen eye and an attitude to match. 

I jump from the roof of the building and grapple to the next one, slicing into the titan’s nape as it got too close. I’ve got to stay sharp here. Eren’s life is riding on the success of this mission. I can’t afford to be distracted.

As I maneuver myself into the air away from the titan carcass, I watch Eren, Mikasa and Armin move on ahead to the boulder. I dart to my right as an abnormal dives at myself and the other soldiers. A crunching noise and a yelp fill my ears as I spin around to kill the titan that just bit a man in two. God dammit, we need as much help as we can to protect Eren. We lost too many soldiers earlier, we can’t afford many more casualties. If only the Scouts were here. A pair of icy blue eyes cloud my mind. I shake my head as I carve through the neck of the abnormal, sending it crashing into a neighbouring building. I don’t need him to do this. I didn’t go through three years of training to depend on someone else.

“Marsh!” I hear Rico yell, as three more titans approach. I follow her voice and join the remaining solders in her squad to take down the enemy. Mitabi and Ian order their own squads to follow Eren and the others as back up. 

Myself and Rico’s squad band together to massacre the surrounding titans. It works at first but there’s too many of them and not enough of us. 

A flash of yellow light illuminates the city for a moment. Eren.

A screech fills the air that reverberates through my chest. Well, he definitely transformed, I’d recognize that noise anywhere. I know he can do this. I knew it the moment I saw his titan form smash its way through each and every titan surrounding HQ. This is the start of something. This is the start of humanity’s counterattack against the titans and I will follow it through until the bitter end. These past three years, I thought I was on my own. Each day of training was simply supposed to lead to the goal of joining the Scouts and escaping from the clutches of the military to find Eren and the others. I never dreamt I’d end up fighting alongside them as Cadets. They’ve come so far on their own. I’ll treasure the hardship of those first two years together no matter what. Despite the guilt I carry on my shoulders, it all lead to this moment. I may have had to discard my morals to provide for us, but it kept them alive. They gave me a purpose and now they have found theirs’. 

Still, that purpose still needs to get us through today. 

I kill the titan in front of me and spin around to grab onto the next one. Even with all the adrenaline pumping through my veins, I can feel the exhaustion begin to set in as my muscles begin to protest against the force of my blades colliding with a titan’s flesh.

Dammit, what’s taking Eren so long. If he doesn’t block that hole soon then there’s going to be too many titans to handle. I hear a scream as yet another soldier gets eaten in front of me. Shit.

“Remaining soldiers, fall back and head for Eren,” Mitabi shouts. I nod at the soldier next to me and disengage with the titan, leaving them to finish it.

Something’s wrong.

My worries are confirmed as soon as I see Eren’s titan hunched over against the boulder with Armin hanging next to his face. I spot Mikasa stood on a nearby roof and rush over.

“Mikasa! What’s going on with Eren? Why isn’t he moving?” I stop once I see her face. A small but deep gash runs across her cheekbone, I tilt her chin to inspect in but she slaps my hand away.

“What happened?” I ask.

“Eren went feral. We don’t know what caused it,” She whispered, never taking her eyes off Eren.

“That’s not all,” Mitabi adds, crossing his arms. “He attacked her.”

“What?” I choke out. That explains why she has the cut on her face… and her reaction when I looked at it.

“It’s over,” I hear Rico say from behind me. I turn to see her holding the signal gun above her head. “We failed.”

“No!” I yell as she pulls the trigger, releasing the shot of red gas into the air. 

We can’t have failed yet. It’s too soon. 

I glance back at Eren who still seems unresponsive to whatever Armin is yelling at him. That is until Armin climbs onto the back of his head and drives his blade into the back of Eren’s neck.

I didn’t even have time to worry if Armin had just flat out killed Eren because Eren dismissed that thought in my head instantly. Eren’s titan starts the thrash and convulse as though it was snapping out of   
a trance. Armin grapples over to join us as Eren climbs to his feet. Is he? Eren pauses for only a second before grasping the boulder and picking it up to hold about his head. He is, he’s doing it.

“Yes Eren!” I cheer. “You can do it!” Nothing could stop the grin on my face in this moment. But we still have a job to do.

Mikasa is first to jump off the roof after Eren with the rest of us following closely behind. Evidently, we were not the only ones to have noticed Eren’s presence. It seems like every titan in the city is now focused on Eren as though he was their food and we had just rung the dinner bell.

I join Mikasa in the lead as we slash through as many titans as we can. Armin, Mitabi, Ian, Rico and their squads soon join us. This is where the real battle starts. I try to block out the screams and shouts from the soldiers that are immediately overpowered by the sheer number of titans. Even the elites weren’t prepared for this many. I guess they weren’t prepared for this at all, the Garrison are supposed to just guard and maintain the walls, not fight titans. That’s for the Scouts to do but they aren’t here. Yet even as the Garrison soldiers fall one by one, I can’t help but think that this is what the Scouts face every time they go beyond the walls. That’s the cost of freedom.

But it’s a price we have to be willing to pay.

Still, it’s hard to ignore the fact that the streets resemble a graveyard of our fallen comrades. Even Ian didn’t make it.

I pass Mikasa as I slice through the 15m titan to her left. I catch a glimpse of her nodding at me in gratitude before we both focus on the other titans around us. 

I swing low to clear a roof top to check on Eren to see here’s nearly at the wall. But even from here I can see that his titan body can’t endure much more of the weight of the boulder. 

“Go on ahead, you three!” Rico calls out, as she goes back to help the rest of her squad. Their numbers appear to be dwindling but I can’t think about that right now. They’re giving their lives so that Eren can complete this mission. We have to make sure that their deaths mean something.

Mikasa and I boost ourselves into the air to latch onto the titans that are getting too close. Armin continues forward to keep shouting words of encouragement at Eren.

That’s when I hear it.

“Do it, Eren,” Armin yells.

His words are soon followed by Eren’s roar as I turn my head just in time to see Eren throw the boulder into the hole in the wall, squishing the rest of the titans in its path. 

We did it.

My knees buckle as I land on the nearest building, my vision becoming blurry with tears as I look at the wall.

This world isn’t theirs’ anymore.

Rico lands beside me, the tears already flowing down her face as she loads the signal gun again and fires it into the air. Green gas fills the sky.

“Thank you everyone, your deaths weren’t for nothing,” she says, as her legs buckle like mine as we watch Eren’s titan form begin the vaporize. It’s a sight I’ll never forget. But the mission isn’t over.

Climbing to my feet, I throw myself off the roof to join Armin in helping to get Eren safely out of the titan. In the corner of my eye I can see Mikasa doing the same.

When we land at his feet, we can see that Armin is struggling to pull Eren out of the titan’s nape. The tendons that attach him too it won’t release. Mikasa immediately jumps up to help pull, but a noise behind me makes me stop. I turn around to see three titans approach us. We just can’t get a break today, can we?

Replacing my blades, I adjust my 3dmg gear and jump, the hooks latching into its flesh. My body glides through the air in a smooth motion as I feel the familiar weightlessness take over my senses. In a strange way, grappling to a titan feels so much better than a building, it feels more personal. This way, I feel less guilty when I slide my blades into its eyes. I flip to dodge its thrashing arms as it blindly attempts to find me in the air. Too slow, my friend. This time I savor the feeling of running my blades through its neck. We’re winning. As it starts to fall, I jump and move onto the second titan, taking my time as I cut through its nape as well. Humanity is fighting back. I land on the head of the next titan as Mitabi appears and focuses on dismembering it. You will lose.

My confidence slips at the same time my foot does. 

In the split second I stopped focusing, karma got the best of me as I swing dangerously close the titan’s mouth. 

“Look out!” 

Another titan comes around the corner faster than I can process. In a panic I boost myself up into the air and slam my blades back down into the nape of the titan that I had just gotten way too close to for comfort. I then launch myself to safety as the fourth titan comes barreling into the street, stepping over the fallen titan like it was nothing. I follow its gaze to see Mitabi sat on the floor looking dazed, he was still latched onto the other titan when I killed it. Shit.

My hands act before my brain can as I grapple as fast as I can over to Mitabi and shove him out of the way of the titan’s outstretched hand. I’m not quite as lucky. The breath is knocked out of me in an instant leaving me desperately gasping for air. The titan’s hand begins to squeeze, causing pain to engulf my body.

I can’t breathe.

My bones start to crack under the pressure of its grip.

I don’t think I can hold on for much longer. 

Black spots begin to fill my vision as my mind becomes cloudy.

Is this my penance?

Just as I feel myself slip away into unconsciousness, I fall back into reality quite literally as I slam into the ground and feel something in my chest splinter. I retch and splutter, taking as many deep breaths as I can. I look up to see what happened only for the haggard breath to catch in my throat. 

Mitabi stares at me through glassy eyes as the titan bites into his stomach.

I try to get to my feet only to collapse in agony. I clutch at my ribs only to cry out from the pain. 

All I can do is watch as Mitabi is swallowed by the titan.

No.

We had won.

The mission succeeded.

Why did he have to die?

My whole body goes numb as my breathing becomes labored. Biting my lip, I drag myself into a standing position, feeling my mouth fill with blood as my teeth sink into it. I stare into the titans’ eyes as it begins to take a step closer to me. 

“Why…?” I cry out as sobs start to shake my body causing me to flinch as my ribs viciously protest. I ignore it.

“Why did you have to kill him!?” I scream.

My voices gets quieter as I find myself finding it harder to speak.

“Why not me?” I ask, the question no longer aimed at the titan.

Retrieving my blades from the floor, I square off the titan as the sorrow fades into rage.

All thoughts of pain are ignored as I launch myself at the titan. I drag the blades into its flesh again and again, slicing off chunks but never touching its neck. I boost myself into the air before swinging myself downwards to sever its left arm. More. I use the momentum to swing myself upwards again, severing its other arm. More. Then I throw myself at its face, carving a straight line through its eyes. More.

I cut off its nose.

More

I swing back towards the floor, slicing its ankle and severing its left foot.

More.

I repeat the action and sever its right foot. The titan to collapses and writhes on the ground.

More.

I leave gashes up and down its body, using the last of the gas in my tanks to move as fast as I can, giving the titan no time to understand what was happening. Only to feel it. My movements become such a blur that even I can barely see or think about what I’m doing.

I just want it to feel what I’m feeling. For it to feel the pain that these monsters have caused all of us. 

All I can see is red. 

I finally slash into the titan’s neck, leaving it to twitch as the life drains from it.

I land a few metres away from its corpse and lose my footing, falling to my knees.

How many have died today? How many people have I lost to the titans in only a few hours? Mitabi, Ian, all of the soldiers that fought beside them. My entire division.

The sound of my heartbeat is pounding in my ears, deafening me, but I still manage to make out Mikasa’s voice screaming at me. 

“Rose, get out of there!”

I look up from under my fringe and see another titan walking towards me. 

I don’t think I could stand even if I wanted to. My legs feel like jelly as I continue to watch the titan approach me. 

The pain that I had forgotten about earlier came back with full force. Waves of agony from my ribs leaves me winded all over again. 

I could do it. I could give up. I could let it eat me. It would be so easy.

But what would this all be for? What would Mitabi’s death mean if I throw my life away like this.

I refuse.

With the last ounce of strength in my body, I force myself to stand with the aid of my blades to hold my weight. I square off the titan and lift my head to fully meet its gaze.

Bring it on.

It falls.

The titan just falls to the ground in front of me like deadweight in a cloud of dust.

What?

As the air begins to settle, I notice a figure standing on top of the titan with their back to me. The logo on their uniform stands out amongst the dust.

The wings of freedom.

The Scout slowly turns to face me, their gaze meeting mine.

A familiar pair of icy blue eyes stare back at me.

“Long time no see, Rose.”


	7. Chapter 7

A cold breeze brushes against my face sending a chill thorough my body, yet even as I shiver, I feel a sense of warmth enveloping me. I feel safe.

I turn my face towards the warmth further, pressing my body into it.

Then I remember.

“Long time no see, Rose.”

That’s when the pain kicks in. The warmth turns to fire as every muscle in my body begins to ache uncontrollably, but it’s my ribs that feel like an inferno. My lungs feel like they’re smouldering from the heat as I start to drown in the flames, what’s happening?

I vaguely hear a voice, but my brain is too foggy to understand what they’re saying. Who is it? Can they stop the pain? I feel someone touch my cheek as another hand takes my own just as something sharp drives itself into my arm. A sharp sting followed by relief washes over me as what feels like icy water extinguishes the fire across my body.

My eyelids feel heavy as I struggle to lift them, opting instead to force my mouth into forming the first words that come to mind.

“Thank you.”

……….

I’m blinded by sunlight the moment I open my eyes, my eyelids feeling heavy with sleep as I slowly manage to keep them open long enough to take in my surroundings. I lift my arm to shade my eyes from the light and instantly regret the movement as hot pain shoots through my torso. A groan escapes me while I hesitantly lower my arm to see if that will stop the pain, but the damage has already been done. Great. 

A rustle next to me catches my attention as a hand suddenly grasps mine that I’d just placed back on the bed.

“Rose!”

I suddenly become very aware of the presence next to me while my eyes struggle to process what on earth is happening. Blinking to clear the last of the sleep from my eyes, I finally manage to focus on the person holding my hand.

“Armin!” I exclaim with as much enthusiasm as I can muster in my current state and pull his hand towards me so I can embrace him in a rather pitiful hug as he desperately tries to avoid touching any of my injuries. 

“How are you feeling?” he asks, with a worried smile. 

“I mean, I feel like I got squished by a titan but other than that fine,” I respond lightly with a grin, trying to clear the worry from his eyes. 

His smile brightens with humour, but I can still see the cloud of worry as he looks at me. 

“I’m fine, Armin,” I say gently, placing my hands over his.

He nods but can’t quite meet my eyes.

“Where am I?” I blurt out. 

Armin pauses before answering.

“This is the medical bay within the court building,” he replies stiffly.

I scrunch up my eyebrows in confusion as I try to remember how we got here.

“The court building? But why-“

My hands that were still clasping his jolt up to cover my mouth as I involuntarily heave. My breaths are laboured, and I can hear my heart pounding in my ears but that’s not all I can hear. Screams. I see the images of my comrades being slaughtered play out in front of my eyes like a slideshow. 

I feel Armin rub my back as he calls for someone. Strained tears begin to build in my eyes as my entire body shudders from the shock. It feels like I’m reliving everything at once and I-

“I can't, A-Armin,” I weep into his shoulder, choking for air as the sobs wrack through me. 

“I know, Rose, I know,” he says, bringing the hand that was on my back up to stroke my hair. Another pang of pain shoots through me as I realise just how much he’s grown up in the time I’ve been gone. I used to comfort him like this when he was kid and he would come home crying after having an argument with Eren. I’d hug him and tell him everything would be okay and sure enough it always was – he and Eren would make up and act as though nothing had happened.

That won’t work this time. Not this time.

I lost them and they won’t be coming back. 

I didn’t realise I’d zoned out until I feel Armin lightly shaking me.

He opens his mouth to say something, but I shake my head to stop him. I can’t bear to discuss it right now, so I push the grief back with a shaky breath and move onto a more immediate issue.

“Where’s Eren?” 

Before Armin can answer, another voice jumps in. 

“His trial is about to start.”

Out of nowhere, my blood begins to boil at the painfully familiar voice.

I’m out of the bed in seconds despite the screaming of my body.

“Rose!” Armin shouts, but I barely register it due to the pure adrenaline pumping through my veins. 

I stop right in front of him, my hands clenched painfully into fists. 

“Get the fuck out,” I seethe. 

“Funny way of saying hello,” Levi replies sarcastically. 

He blocks the punch before I even realise I’d thrown one.

“Get out!” I yell again, completely blinded by the sudden rage that I can't entirely place an explanation to.

Levi raises his eyebrows and looks at me with a shocked expression.

“Rose, stop!” Armin says, running over and grabbing both my arms to restrain me.

As soon as I feel him grab me, the urge to struggle leaves my body. I can’t fight, Armin. He’s not the one I want to fight right now. Instead I focus on sending a vicious glare at Levi.

“Tch”

The fight immediately re-surges in my body as the bastard just clicks his tongue at me, but Armin keeps a steady hold.

“Why the fuck are you here?” I spit.

Levi huffs out a humourless chuckle and shakes his head at me.

“If you’d have listened to me before throwing punches, maybe you’d have heard me mention that Eren’s trial is about to start,” he replies coldly.

“His trial?” I repeat back, sounding more concerned than angry.

I feel Armin’s grip on me loosen slightly as he lets out a breath that I didn’t even realise he’d been holding.

“Eren’s going on trial to determine what they want to do with him,” Armin says in a monotonous tone as though there’s more that he wants to say.

“What do you mean what they want to do with him?” I reply incredulously. “He already single-handedly filled the wall, isn’t that enough to prove his worth?”

Armin stays silent.

I shrug his arms off and turn to face him.

“Armin?”

Armin doesn’t say anything. He doesn’t have to.

“I’m going to the trial,” I state before turning back to Levi. “That’s why you’re here, isn’t it?”

“I’m actually here because I heard your little outburst earlier as well as the blond brat calling for help,” he replies in a tone that can only be described as condescending. Bastard.

I don’t want to dwell on the reasons behind my breakdown nor the fact that Levi overheard it.

“But yes, I also came to inform you about the trial,” he finishes after seeing my dangerous expression.

“Then let’s go,” I sneer, shoving past him to get through the door.

That was a mistake.

The adrenaline that had allowed me to throw myself out of bed was finally wearing off and the torrent of pain came rushing back to take it’s place. In short, it felt like the wind had been taken out of me instantly, causing me to collapse against the wall outside the hospital room, panting like a dog because of the pain.

I hear a small chuckle and a cry of “Rose!” from Armin before a pair of hands grab me under my arms and lift me back onto my feet. 

“I feel like that shove had the opposite effect of what you intended,” Levi sarcastically hums in my ear as he places one of my arms over his shoulder. I wince from the stretch but allow myself to relax slightly against his body.

“I don’t need your help,” I mutter lowly.

“Huh, sure,” he responds.

“Captain Levi, sir, I can take her from here,” Armin jumps in but Levi waves him off. 

“It doesn’t matter who helps her, we just need to get moving,” he replies irritably, wrapping his other arm around my waist to give me more support as we walk. My cheeks warm slightly at the action.

If Armin notices my face, he doesn’t say anything. Instead he just walks beside me as we continue down the long corridor towards what I presume is the entrance to the court room.

I didn’t know what to expect when we entered the courtroom but seeing Eren on his knees while handcuffed to the pole behind him certainly wasn’t what I imagined.

There’s a low chatter throughout the room as we walk in, with everyone seemingly too busy discussing Eren to notice us make our entrance. Well, everyone aside from Mikasa that is.

“Rose, Armin!” Mikasa yells as she runs over to us, inspecting my face slightly and glaring at Levi. 

“Why is she out of bed?” Mikasa demands, her question clearly being aimed at Levi.

“I’m fine, Mikasa. I needed to be here,” I reply, my eyes drifting to Eren who hasn’t appeared to notice us and is still staring at the ground. I feel a twinge in my heart seeing him like that. I know all too well how it feels to be in the centre of a courtroom with a bunch of strangers discussing whether you should live or die in the same way they’d decide whether or not they fancied tea or coffee. He shouldn’t be here. He recovered Trost. He helped humanity. And he’s Eren. Eren who has always wanted to destroy the titans, not join forces with them.

Mikasa and Armin move towards the stand where some other cadets are who I presume are acting as witnesses. I expect Levi to join them but instead he guides me over to the stand where the Scouts are situated and removes my arm from his shoulder as well as removing his hand from my waist. I open my mouth to argue but falter once I make eye contact with Erwin.

“Good to see you, Rose, although I wish it was under better circumstances,” he greets me once Levi and I stand beside him.

“Likewise,” I answer plainly. I actually have quite a lot I’d like to say in response to that, or rather I just have a lot to say in general to the two assholes who I haven’t seen in three years. Instead, I focus entirely on Eren who still has his head lowered. I lean forward and harshly grip the wooden barrier between myself and him. 

The judge enters and clears his throat, everyone immediately falling silent as he sits at the desk at the front of the room. Eren raises his head, his eyes betraying his nerves.

“You are Eren Jaeger, a soldier who has sworn to give his life for the people. Is that correct?” the judge begins, his voice not giving anything away.

“Yes.”

My eyes fall back onto Eren, every inch of my body wishing I could be there instead of him.

“Given the extraordinary circumstances, this deliberation will be held as a court-martial,” the judge continues. “Regular law will not apply, in other words, I have full decision-making authority in this matter, which includes determining whether you live or die.”

My entire body tenses when I hear those words. I won’t let them kill Eren. No matter what it takes.

“I’ll get right to the point,” the judge exclaims, adjusting his glasses before addressing Eren again. “As expected, concealing your existence from the public has proved impossible. Unless we publicly disclose your existence in one way or another, we risk the outbreak of a new non-titan threat. It falls on me to decide on which regiment should take charge of you.”

My eyes widen once I register what the judge is saying. Eren doesn’t get a choice here, does he? It’s death or joining the Scouts.

The familiarity of the situation does nothing to calm me.

I turn to Erwin in shock as I start to understand their intentions. Erwin glances at me and holds my gaze for a second before looking back at the judge as he continues talking. 

“Now let’s hear what the Military Police Regiment proposes,” the judge announces before the attention in the room is drawn to a man standing at the opposite side of the room to me. The man looks at Eren in disgust as he speaks.

“I, Nile Dawk, Commander of the Military Police, offer the following proposal,” he takes a short breath and continues. “We believe that after a thorough examination of Eren’s body, he should be disposed of immediately.”

My grip on the barrier tightens, knuckles turning a stark white due to the force. I don’t bother listening to the rest of his shitty speech in case I just end up snapping.

As it turns out, he wasn’t the only piece of shit in the room. As soon as the fucking priest steps in and starts calling Eren vermin, my grip on the wooden barrier is so tight I’m surprised it hasn’t splintered in my hands. 

A hand on my shoulder makes me jump slightly. I feel a few strands of hair tickle my cheek as Levi leans forward, brushing his lips against my ear.

“Calm down.”

I tense up further. Like hell could I calm down. Not when these monsters are talking about Eren like this.

“I mean it, Rose,” Levi whispers, the hand on my shoulder tightening its grasp before letting go.

I exhale sharply through my nose in response but loosen my grip on the barrier just in time for the judge to announce that it is now time for the Scouts to deliver their proposal.

Erwin steps forward slightly to meet the gazes of the entire room.

“I, Erwin Smith, Commander of the Scout Regiment, offer the following proposal.”

My eyes drift from Erwin back to Eren who meets my stare at the exact same moment. His eyes widen but doesn’t give anymore of a reaction than that while we stare at each other. A thousand thoughts and words of comfort flood through my mind that I wish I could say to Eren. Instead I just nod at him and hope he understands.

“We intend to accept Eren as an official member of the Scout Regiment and utilise his titan ability to retake Wall Maria. That is all.”

My jaw drops slightly at Erwin’s words. Part of me wants to object to try and save Eren from the countless dangers that he will no doubt face if he joins the Scouts. But the other part of me knows that there’s no better option here. I just have to trust that Erwin knows what he’s doing.

No.

I have to trust that if Eren joins the Scouts then I will protect him with my life. Just like I always have.

“Just a damn minute!” a merchant from the other side of the room yells. “Shouldn’t we be sealing all the gates now!? The gates are the only part the colossal titan can break! If we can just reinforce them then we’ll never be attacked again!”

Pig.

“You have a big mouth, swine,” Levi says from behind me, his voice low. A shiver runs down my spine. 

“What guarantee is there that the titans will be kind enough to wait while we seal the walls?” I turn slightly to look at him only to see his jaw tensed, his mouth set in a firm line. “Are you pigs blind to the people who struggle to survive off what little land is left?” Levi asks vehemently in a way that I wasn’t completely sure he was capable of. 

The merchant starts to argue back before the priest guy from before jumps in and they start bickering between themselves.

I sigh in frustration and brush my hand against Levi’s to get his attention. He glances down at me with his eyebrows furrowed as I nod at him in gratitude for speaking up. He says nothing but brushes his own hand against mine in response before looking back at the pigs or rather swine as he called them that were still arguing.

“Order!” the judge says, tapping his hand on his desk a few times to make sure that everyone shuts up and listens to him. He turns his attention back to Eren.

“I wish to make certain of something, Mr Jaeger. As a soldier, can you continue to serve humanity by controlling your titan ability?”

“Yes, sir,” Eren answers without hesitation. His eyes hold a fire to them that has been there since the day I first met him when we scuffled with the member of the Military Police. There’s a sense of nostalgia to that fire. Almost in the same way that the nostalgia still hits me every time I have a run in with that same MP. Last time I saw him was the night I was caught by the Scouts after he tried to shoot me and missed horrifically.

I’m dragged from my thoughts at the sound of the judge’s reply to Eren.

“But it says here in this report about the Trost battle, that just after transforming you swung your fists at Mikasa Ackerman.”

Eren and I jolt in surprise at the same time.

Oh yeah. That. 

In all the wreckage and confusion of Trost, I’d forgotten about that particular event. I was going to question Eren and Mikasa about it once we all returned but I was unconscious from then until just a little while ago. Speaking of which, how long was I out? Why couldn’t someone have woken me so I could have spoken to Mikasa before this. Maybe we could have figured something out? Dammit, why did I have to be so weak? Why wasn’t I there for those three? I wasn’t there for them again.

“Who is Mikasa Ackerman?” the judge asks the court.

My eyes instantly look over to the witness stand where Mikasa steps forward.

“Is it true that Jaeger attacked you while in his titan form?” he asks.

Mikasa hesitates but then answers.

“Yes. It is true,” she says quietly, looking at Eren with worry. 

Eren looks as though someone just slapped him. He doesn’t remember doing it, does he? 

“I knew it. He’s just a titan,” someone mumbles.

That bastard. My grip on the wooden barrier once again tightens to the point where I’m very certain it’s about to splinter under the force.

“However, he also saved my life two other times while also in his titan form,” Mikasa continues. “I ask that you take that into consideration too.”

“I believe that her testimony is very driven by personal feelings,” the asshole Commander of the MPs jumps in. “It should be noted that Mikasa Ackerman lost her parents at a young age and was taken in by the Jaeger family.”

I taste blood in my mouth before realising just how hard I’m biting my tongue. 

“What’s more, our own investigation of this matter led us to a most surprising discovery. At the age of nine, Eren Jaeger and Mikasa Ackerman stabbed and killed three adult robber-kidnappers."

The entire room was deathly silent.

“Even if it was in self-defense, we cannot help but question his basic humanity.”

My knees falter and I would fall if it wasn’t for my iron-tight grip on this damn barrier. 

I didn’t know.

They never told me.

A wave of emotions hits me like a tidal wave as I watch the look of shock linger on Eren and Mikasa’s faces. The same faces that I lived with for years. They were like siblings to me, maybe even like my own children in some ways. I never could have dreamed they’d have gone through something like that as well at such a young age. I wish they’d have told me in all the time I’ve known them. I understand why they wouldn’t and how they couldn’t have known that I could possibly understand that sort of past… Let alone that I can relate to it. 

“How dare you,” I find myself spitting in quite possibly the most venomous voice I have ever come out with. “How can you even begin to question his humanity when you barely have any yourself, you disgusting pig,” I seethe. 

I don’t care that I’m in a court room. I don’t care that I have no place in speaking right now. All I care about is Eren, Mikasa and Armin.

“Who do you think you are to speak to me that way, Cadet?” the pig shouts back in response. 

My breaths are so rapid I feel like I’m hyperventilating, pure rage running through my veins as I move forward to jump the barrier. 

Suddenly two hands are placed on both of my shoulders, holding me back. 

“That’s enough, Rose,” Levi says, coldly. His voice may be cold, but his hands feel more like a comfort than a restraint on my shoulders.

“Yes, that is quite enough, Miss Marsh,” the judge states, his piercing eyes staring right through me just like they did when I was in Eren’s position. “I understand your sentiments, however just like Miss Ackerman’s I wonder if your words also come from a place of personal experience?” he muses.

My fists clench so hard that I can feel blood begin to pool where my nails dig into my palm.

What can I say to that? Absolutely nothing. Not without exposing my true identity to the entire court including Eren, Mikasa and Armin. They aren’t the only ones with secrets. I doubt the judge actually intends to announce my crimes to the court considering so much effort was put into protecting my identity. 

“Ahh, Rose Marsh? Is that you?” the Commander of the MPs butts, his eyebrows raised. “It’s been a few years since I last saw you… It was in this court room that we last met I do believe.”

A few murmurs can be heard throughout the room. Levi’s hands loosen and fall from my shoulders before he moves to step in front of me. My eyes widen in shock as I stare at his back wondering if he’s really about to defend me. Except it’s not him that speaks, it’s Erwin.

“Yes, and I believe that Miss Marsh is not the subject of this meeting, so I would invite you to stop talking before you commit contempt of court, Dawk,” Erwin states, his voice harbouring such an authoritative tone that even I bristle at his words despite them not being aimed at me. 

“How can we trust the Scouts if they have a criminal within their ranks?” someone from the across the room yells. Wonderful. Oh if only they knew.

“Order!” the judge proclaims. “As Commander Erwin has stated, Miss Marsh is not the subject of this hearing and I will not allow her name to be used as a contending argument within this case.”

I think I would oddly appreciate what the judge just said if he wasn’t also the deciding factor of Eren’s fate.

The MP Commander appears to be rather taken aback by the judge’s reaction but does as he says, instead choosing to continue to dehumanise Eren and Mikasa.

“Should we really place personnel and funds in his hands, not to mention the very fate of humanity?” he states, causing an uproar of chatter among the jury.

I try to block out their words of utter bullshit to avoid speaking out again. I fear as though I’m in enough trouble as it is and if I push any further then I may just be dragging Eren down with me.

“He’s clearly a titan in the form of a child?” One man yells.

“What about her? What if she’s a titan too?!” the fat merchant from before pipes up, pointing to Mikasa. 

“Hold on! I might a monster but leave her out of it!” Eren shouts in Mikasa’s defense. Tears spring to my eyes in frustration.

“You’re just trying to protect her!”

“NO!” 

The room falls silent again after Eren screams. His outburst possibly both shocking and terrifying to the idiots that actually revile him as a monster. 

“None of you have ever seen a titan, so why are you afraid?” Eren asks tentatively at first before I see a blaze light in his eyes again. “What’s the use in having power if you’re not going to fight? If you’re afraid of fighting for your lives then help me, you cowards!” he shouts. 

The room is still in a stunned silence as Eren continues to scream to everyone that can hear. I subconsciously grab the back of Levi’s jacket to ground myself and deter my nerves for Eren as fear builds in me.

“Just shut up and invest everything in me!” 

Silence. Then the MP Commander yells.

“Take aim!”

I desperately try to move past the wall that is Levi, but he doesn’t let me past. 

“Eren!” I scream. 

Suddenly the wall is gone. That’s when I hear the first kick. 

There’s a horrible clattering noise against the granite floor of the court room as what I presume is one of Eren’s teeth is launched from his mouth.

My breath catches in my throat as I try to register what the fuck is currently happening. Levi is beating the shit out of Eren. Or rather kicking the shit out of him.

I’m going to kill Levi.

My mind is completely made up as I move to climb over the wooden barrier for the second time only to be stopped by Erwin.

“Let him. He knows what he’s doing,” Erwin says lowly. 

“I don’t think he does,” I spit back as I glare at the scene unfolding. This is completely unfair considering Eren can’t move his hands to defend himself. 

“Trust him,” Erwin responds lightly. I look at him but he doesn’t give anymore away and just continues to watch the carnage.

I look over to see Mikasa being held back by Armin with a similarly murderous expression on her face. Eren looks somewhat pitiful with the blood dripping from his nose and mouth. Levi lifts him by his hair to show his face to the room. 

“My personal belief is that pain is the best tool for teaching discipline,” he stares down at Eren with a look I can’t decipher. “What you need now is to be taught a lesson, not given a talking-to.”

I understand what Levi’s trying to express by making an example of Eren, but he’s taking this a little far. Stamping on him once would probably have given him the sense of power that he was clearly lusting for. 

“And you happen to be in perfect kicking position,” he continues.

Sadistic bastard.

Levi then proceeds to kick Eren more, the only sound to be heard in the courtroom are the impacts and Eren’s pained groans. 

I don’t know whether to kill Levi or to kill Erwin or both of them at this point. I’m seething with every kick that Levi inflicts on Eren and Erwin’s grip on my arm is getting too tight. 

“Wait, Levi!” the Commander of the MPs finally calls out. 

“What?” Levi replies lowly. 

“That’s dangerous,” he finally gets out. “What if he gets mad and turns into a titan?”

Add another victim to my list.

Eren raises his head to glare at Levi only to get kicked in the face yet again. Levi squats down to Eren’s level.

“Don’t be silly, you guys were just going to dissect him, weren’t you?” Levi responds nonchalantly, standing up again. “When he was transformed, he managed to kill twenty titans before running out of strength, and with his intelligence that makes him all the more of a threat. Yet I handled him just fine.”

Eren sputters and spits up blood onto the floor. Everything in me wants to run over to him and just help him but I’m starting to see the effect of Levi’s words on the rest of the court room. They all looked so hateful and disgusted by Eren and yet now they just look scared and pathetic. I even think most of their fear is directed towards Levi at this precise moment.

“Whoever torments him better think long and hard. Could you really kill him?”

Silence once again. 

The Commander of the MPs looks like he wants to say something but can’t form the words. Levi’s registered everyone speechless. Well, everyone except Erwin.

“Sir, I have a proposition,” Erwin proclaims, raising his hand like we’re back in fucking school or something.

“What is it?” the judge responds with an air of curiosity. 

“I propose that Eren be placed under Levi’s supervision and conduct a recon mission outside the wall,” Erwin says confidently in a tone you’d expect from a Commander. “Based on the results of said mission, you can decide if Eren has control over his titan ability and if his existence is of benefit to humanity.”

“Supervising Eren Jaeger, huh?” the judge muses, his gaze shifting back to Levi who was still stood over Eren. I notice his eyes flicker to mine as I stand next to Erwin. He pauses. “Are you sure that Captain Levi will be able to effectively supervise Eren Jaeger while also having the task of supervising Miss Marsh?”

I freeze. Once again, my past is being used as a threat to Eren’s welfare and I’m powerless to stop it.

Erwin pauses a moment before replying with the same confidence as before. 

“Miss Marsh placed first in her Division and is proving to be a very capable soldier. I have every faith in her that she will not prove to be a problem to Captain Levi, nor will she get in the way of Eren’s supervision,” Erwin exclaims. 

I truly wish I could guarantee that his faith in me is justified, but right now I’m not in any position to argue. Not now. Instead I do my best to stand straight despite my injuries and salute the judge in the hopes that that will somehow help mine and Eren’s case.

The judge looks at me with mild amusement but nods, turning back to the centre of the room. 

“Can you attest to this, Levi?” he asks. 

“Oh, I can definitely kill Eren if I need to. Marsh won’t be a problem,” Levi responds without looking at the judge, still intently watching Eren who has his head hung low. Is he still conscious? 

Levi then turns his head slightly in my direction, meeting my gaze with a small smirk. Smug bastard.

The judge nods in response. 

“I have reached my decision,” he announces. “I place Eren Jaeger in the custody of the Scout Regiment.”

I can’t find myself celebrating at his words. Eren’s just been given a prolonged death sentence. I glance at Erwin and then Levi. Can I really trust these two not to harm him? 

My gaze lands on Eren who appears to have regained consciousness.

Well, can I trust them not to harm him any further? I have no guarantee that the Scouts won’t just find some other reason to kill him. 

My own escape plan has just become far more complicated. It's going to be hard enough to escape by myself, let alone include Eren in my plans. But I have no choice. I refuse to back down now. This is what I have trained so hard over the past three years for. I will fight for mine and Eren’s safety with my own Wings of Freedom.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I'm sorry that this update took so long! 
> 
> I really dislike how close to the canon this chapter is (especially because the dialogue is pretty much an exact match to the anime which I do not claim aaaaany ownership over), but I felt like it was pretty important to keep this court scene in. (I hope to keep the rest of the story much further away from the canon though).


End file.
